More Firewall weirdness

Ok, not weird, just crap.

This link is blocked:  The resulting page said it was in the “pornography” category.

Out of frustration, I typed in “Dirty Sex Sluts” into Google and selected the first link.  Can you guess what happened? I wasn’t blocked!  Boom! Full-on porn right there, on my screen, in the middle of the cube-farm!

And yet, I’m told that I can’t have the RDP port opened between internal offices on an intranet because of security concerns.  Right.

7am is too early

There are a few of us at the moment working very hard on a proposal.    I worked all weekend, and I was at the office at 7am this morning, because it is due today.

The security guard wouldn’t let me in.  He said because I don’t have an access card yet, he cant let me in until 8am.  Forgetting the obvious question (“Gee Jake, you’ve been there a few months now, why don’t you have an access card?”), the real question is why can’t you let me in until 8am?  And what am I supposed to do until then?

I was pretty pissed.  But I was also (and still am) quite tired due to all the overtime and so on.   So let me ask you, does it make any sense to you?  If he can let me in at 8am without a card, why cant he let me in at 7am without a card? I guess I’ll have to wait an hour before I do all my stealing.

Anyway, all I did was walk down the car ramp into the carpark, and tailgate someone in through the security barriers down there. Yeah, heaps secure.

Business Buzzword Overload

The following text is the first two paragraphs of a document I recently received.

The development of the Centre is a key strategy in the delivery of the Operations vision, which will deliver significant efficiencies over [the investment period]. The Operations Business Plan delivery through [the current investment period] is predicated on a major shift in the culture, approach and business model that has begun to be put in place through 2009/10.

I think I vomited in my mouth a little bit.
If this guy was ever in a meeting, I think I would set new buzzword bingo records. Which is to say that I would exceed my value-based and quality driven pivot-word recognition count, thereby leverage key synergies in my key portfolio areas.

Still going to Spain

We are still going to Spain, but it is taking longer than we thought.

The bureaucracy deepens, and we were hit with further paperwork requirements while we were in Calgary. Unfortunately, these are going to take a ridiculously long time to fulfill.

The Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade have only one office that can authenticate a document. This is the act of stamping a document with an official seal that says that the notarisation of the document is legit. If you take the document to them in person, they can do it while you wait, otherwise you mail it to them and it will take 5 weeks, plus postage time.

Oh, but it doesn’t cost anything. Except if you are in a hurry, then it will cost you a flight and a hotel room.

Relocation to Spain: Its On. Finally.

After a few false starts, and much waiting, I am finally announcing that we are relocating to Seville, Spain.

I will say now though, that until I have actually arrived and signed a rental agreement, I’m not going to guarantee anything, but I’m putting out the good vibes.

We sold the fridge today, and that makes it real. We fly out of Perth on July 10, an over night stopover in Singapore, a 2-3 day stopover in Hong Kong, and then on to Vancouver, where we hope to meet up with friends for a night or too. Then on to Calgary.

We will stay there about 6-8 weeks, and I will work half of that time, the other half will be vacation.

Then, around the end of August, I will go to Seville ahead of Lisa and get started on the basics.

FAQ answers

  • Work is paying for the move
  • We don’t yet have a place to stay in Seville
  • I got a promotion, which needs to be done from Seville
  • The relocation is for 3 years
  • We have no idea where we will live after that
  • Yes, we loved Perth, and will leave many good friends behind
  • Yes, you are all welcome to visit in Seville. We are purposely going to get a place with a guest bedroom

Right then. Back to cleaning and packing!

Language Fail

Sigh. One of the biggest problems with working for a multinational company is language. They try to be bi-lingual, but it just seems to hard to make sure that all the little errors, info messages and popups are in the selected language.

Here is an error I got this morning:

El acceso no es posible por no poseer su sociedad soporte de los Sistemas de Información requeridos

Here is Bablefish’s attempt to translate it:

The access is not possible not to own its society has supported of the required Information systems

I haven’t got a clue. All I can gather is I don’t have the appropriate access.