Posts Tagged ‘work’

Business Buzzword Overload

Friday, December 18th, 2009

The following text is the first two paragraphs of a document I recently received.

The development of the Centre is a key strategy in the delivery of the Operations vision, which will deliver significant efficiencies over [the investment period]. The Operations Business Plan delivery through [the current investment period] is predicated on a major shift in the culture, approach and business model that has begun to be put in place through 2009/10.

I think I vomited in my mouth a little bit.
If this guy was ever in a meeting, I think I would set new buzzword bingo records. Which is to say that I would exceed my value-based and quality driven pivot-word recognition count, thereby leverage key synergies in my key portfolio areas.

Resource Waste

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Attention All Employees,

It has come to our attention that certain people are wasting company resources.

The above picture is proof that some of you are not trying hard enough to make these resources last.
Please be aware that undue waste is not to be tolerated.

Thankyou, Management.

Off to Spain for a week

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

Its budget week, so I am heading to Spain for a week. Had to take the red-eye to Toronto to pick up my passport from the Embassy, and now I’m killing time in the airport hotel.
The red-eye was brutal.

Lotus Notes can’t deal with screen sizes changing

Thursday, September 24th, 2009

It appears that Lotus Notes doesn’t obey the screen geometry being managed by Windows.
If I unplug the external monitor, and adjust the display settings, all running applications get plonked onto the remaining screen. However, Notes will still pop-up dialog boxes on the non-existent screen.
Worse, when I do have the external monitor connected, because they are different sizes, Notes will pop-up dialog boxes in the non-existent area of the other screen.
Even more randomly, it wont always pop-up dialogs onto the screen in which the application was started, but will swap around at random.
Very, very lame.

Lotus Notes: Randomly chosen attachment icons

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

Why can’t Lotus Notes act predictably with file icons?

Here is an example: two attachments, exactly the same file type, dragged and dropped into the same email, one icon is correct, the other is the generic “I have no idea what kind of file this is” icon.

Still going to Spain

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

We are still going to Spain, but it is taking longer than we thought.

The bureaucracy deepens, and we were hit with further paperwork requirements while we were in Calgary. Unfortunately, these are going to take a ridiculously long time to fulfill.

The Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade have only one office that can authenticate a document. This is the act of stamping a document with an official seal that says that the notarisation of the document is legit. If you take the document to them in person, they can do it while you wait, otherwise you mail it to them and it will take 5 weeks, plus postage time.

Oh, but it doesn’t cost anything. Except if you are in a hurry, then it will cost you a flight and a hotel room.

Relocation to Spain: Its On. Finally.

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

After a few false starts, and much waiting, I am finally announcing that we are relocating to Seville, Spain.

I will say now though, that until I have actually arrived and signed a rental agreement, I’m not going to guarantee anything, but I’m putting out the good vibes.

We sold the fridge today, and that makes it real. We fly out of Perth on July 10, an over night stopover in Singapore, a 2-3 day stopover in Hong Kong, and then on to Vancouver, where we hope to meet up with friends for a night or too. Then on to Calgary.

We will stay there about 6-8 weeks, and I will work half of that time, the other half will be vacation.

Then, around the end of August, I will go to Seville ahead of Lisa and get started on the basics.

FAQ answers

  • Work is paying for the move
  • We don’t yet have a place to stay in Seville
  • I got a promotion, which needs to be done from Seville
  • The relocation is for 3 years
  • We have no idea where we will live after that
  • Yes, we loved Perth, and will leave many good friends behind
  • Yes, you are all welcome to visit in Seville. We are purposely going to get a place with a guest bedroom

Right then. Back to cleaning and packing!

Notes: More GUI Fail

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

This dialog is asking a question, and there are no buttons to select a response. Awesome.

This one, not even Notes itself knows what is going on!

Language Fail

Friday, June 5th, 2009

Sigh. One of the biggest problems with working for a multinational company is language. They try to be bi-lingual, but it just seems to hard to make sure that all the little errors, info messages and popups are in the selected language.

Here is an error I got this morning:

El acceso no es posible por no poseer su sociedad soporte de los Sistemas de Información requeridos

Here is Bablefish’s attempt to translate it:

The access is not possible not to own its society has supported of the required Information systems

I haven’t got a clue. All I can gather is I don’t have the appropriate access.

Explaining the problems of Software using a tree swing analogy

Friday, May 8th, 2009
One panel of the Software Tree Swing cartoon

One panel of the Software Tree Swing cartoon, click for full version

Some background research about the tree swing cartoon here.

I saw this many years ago, and it appears it is many years older than that. I still think it is one of the most succinct depictions of the everyday problems encountered in the software business.

Update: The copyright of the above image has been called into question by  Paragon Innovations.  Although, the link provided initially seems to indicate that the idea pre-dates the artwork, nevertheless, credit where credit is due.