Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness

Sometimes The Onion is perfect

Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness

February 27, 2006 | Issue 42•09

NEWYORK—Millions of eyewitnesses watched in stunned horror Tuesday aslight emptied from the sky, plunging the U.S. and neighboring countriesinto darkness. As the hours progressed, conditions only worsened.

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Businesses have shut their doors, banks are closed across the nation,all major stock exchanges have suspended trading, and manufacturing inmany sectors has ceased.

“The only thing a sensible person can do is wait it out,” she said.

This article perfectly mimics the grandstanding and sensationalism the goes on in the media. None of the facts in the article are wrong, everything is perfectly ligitmet. Perfect.

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