Overheard in NYC:

Mom: So, what kind of animals do you think we will see at the zoo?
Small boy: I think elephants and snakes… Mom? Are there also pretend things there, like dinosaurs and God?
Mom: I think we need to have a talk when we get home.

Teen: I'm gonna run for sturgeon general one day.
Father: A sturgeon is a fish. It's Surgeon General, and you can't run for it, the president appoints you.
Teen: Then I'll make him appoint me.
Father: You also have to be a doctor, and in the military… And we know you're not smart enough to be a doctor.
Teen: [Puzzled, offended.]
Father: You could run for Secretary of Defense, though, and you don't really have to be that smart to do that.
Teen, excitedly: Cool, I like guns!

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