Christmas Lights Epilepsy

I put up some crappy flashing Christmas lights at work a few days ago …..

And today:
Random Woman: Have you asked everyone to make sure they are not epileptic?  They could be sensitive to these lights.
Me: <blank stare>
Random Woman: I'm actually serious.
Me: <incredulous blank stare>
Random Woman:  I mean, how would you feel if someone had a fit right in front of you? Would you know what to do?
Me: Yes I would actually.
Random Woman: Oh, well, you might want to send an email to everyone on this floor just to make sure.
Me: Right.
Random Woman: Ok! Thanks! Seeeeeeya!
Me: umm, yeaaah.

So, I googled it. Natch. The British Epilepsy Association had this to say about Flashing Christmas tree lights:

These lights should comply with health and safety regulations before going on sale. The lights should not, therefore, flicker at a rate which could trigger seizures in the vast majority of people with photosensitive epilepsy.

But wait, what if you have a strong allergic reaction to dipshits with nothing better to do than to go around sprouting crap? WHAT SHOULD I DO! I'm starting to hyperventilate over here! I'm COMING OUT IN A RASH!!!!1!1!!! I think I'm gonna have to WASTE someone!

One thought on “Christmas Lights Epilepsy”

  1. People love pointing out things you're doing wrong. You might as well have written this exchange

    Random Woman: I know something that you don't know.
    Me: So?
    Random Woman: That makes me better than you in this one particular way.
    Me: So you're telling me to make me a better person too?
    Random Woman: No, I'm telling you so that you know I'm better than you, too. It's not enough that just I know it.
    Me: Well, glad I could help.

    Similar thing happened to me at a previous job. I had my feet up on the desk one time, and one of the “random women” in the office complained to my boss because there was an Arab in the office, and apparently showing the soles of your feet to Arabs is really offensive.

    I guess I'm warning you that she has probably repeated this story to a bunch of other people, possibly including your boss. “Jake has Christmas lights in his office. That can cause seizures. I knew that and he didn't. That means I'm better. Just thought you should know.”

    Alternate Ending: Wow, I guess I've been so busy learning relevant things that people actually care about that I have neglected amassing useless knowledge like this. I'm glad I've got you to help fill in the gaps! Don't trip over the power cord on your way out!

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