Cancelling a service via a Turing Machine

In order to cancel an internet fax service, that was charging my credit card pretty much all the time, regardless of how much I used it. I think it was a monthly fee for the service, and extra for each fax I sent or received.

Anyway, I wanted to cancel it. No-where on the webpage was there a “Cancel service” button or link. I had to email for support, asking for how to cancel. I got an email back with a link to a page. I went to the page, and it said “Do you want to cancel”. I said yes. It lead me to another page, which asked, “Are you sure?”. I said yes, It then led me to a “real-time” chat.

This is what happened:

Welcome to chat.
The session has been accepted.
{Brandon R.} Hello, Jake. Welcome to j2 Global online support. I am Brandon, your online Live Support Representative. How are you doing today?
{jake} this is absurd. i simply want to cancel my account.
{Brandon R.} I'm sorry to hear that you wish to cancel. Could you please provide me with your fax number and the PIN associated with your account?
{jake} that doesn't seem secure to me
shouldn't I be able to cancel it myself?
my fax number is 14037708422
{Brandon R.} If you are not comfortable providing the PIN, could I have the last four digits of your credit card number associated with our fax account for verification?
{jake} 7053
{Brandon R.} Thank you for providing your information. Please give me a moment while I go through your records. In the meantime, please type the number corresponding to your reason for cancellation:

1) Moving to another provider
2) Bought a Fax machine
3) Business or role changed
4) Short term project completed
5) Financial reasons
6) Problems with Faxing or Billing
7) Dissatisfied with Quality of service
8) Too Costly
{Brandon R.} I am awaiting a response from you.
{jake} 4
{jake} i seem to be having some network issues. my apologies
{Brandon R.} Jake, we understand that you may have limited use of our service at present. As a special offer, we will waive the monthly fee for two months. You may need this number during this time and your faxing needs may also change in the future. This way you will be able to use our service to its fullest benefits.
{Brandon R.} We will credit your eFax account with CAD$36.00 which will cover for the monthly fee for the next two billing cycles.
{Brandon R.} During this time, you will not be charged any monthly fees. If you decide that you do not have any use for our services after this period, you can contact us back. We are available 24 hours/7days, to immediately process your request.
{Brandon R.} Would you be interested in taking advantage of the above offer at this time?
{jake} no thanks
{Brandon R.} Jake, I do understand your decision to discontinue. However, since you will not be charged any monthly fee for the next two months you may keep the account till then. There is certainly no obligation to stay back after this period if you do not wish to.
{Brandon R.} Also as a good will gesture to continue our association we will offer you an additional gift balance of $10 along with the monthly credit which will enable to send up to 100 additional fax pages free of cost within US and Canada.
{Brandon R.} If you determine during this credit period, that you do not wish to continue your service, we are available any time to assist you with your request.
{Brandon R.} During this two months credit period even if you use the service once we will be more than happy that we were able to serve you.
{jake} no thanks.
{Brandon R.} Okay, I understand and respect your decision to cancel. I will cancel your account immediately.
{Brandon R.} I’m sorry that you are leaving eFax. Please do consider us if your faxing needs should change in the future.
{Brandon R.} Is there anything else I can assist you with today?
{jake} no thanks

Now call me old fashioned, but I don't think that I should have to sit there for 30 minutes talking to a script in order to cancel a service.

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